---- The Question: ----
I lost my dad a month ago, Im the youngest and the only daughter & I miss him so much. I am still shocked of his untimely death. I'm working abroad and it hurts me so much bec. I was not at his side during his last hours. Is there a way I can communicate with him? I dreamed of my dad only once.
---- My Answer: ----
First of all, so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing a father is so hard for a daughter because fathers and daughters have a special bond that really can't be put in words. Its a bond formed of sharing and joining in childhood memories, mutual admiration, of loving and protective feelings. and ultimately of giving and receiving freedom.
Loss of a loved one is one of the hardest things to grieve through. The process is different for each person, but the important thing is to actually DO the grieving. Human beings must process loss, and significant emotional problems arise if this not done.
Take a look at yourself and try to get a sense of where you are in the grieving process. The generally accepted phases are: denial/disbelief, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Seems like you may actually still be primarily in the first stage, denial and/or disbelief of his passing. Or perhaps bargaining, since you say that you're looking for a way to communicate with him.
Death will come to everyone alive today, eventually. It is sad to lose people we love, and debate will rage on in perpetuity about questions of spirits, life after death, and the like. But what remains after all this is burned away is the loss. You need to accept the loss, cry with your family members or close friends over it, and let the pain and anguish of that loss roll through you like a big wave. Eventually, the pain will recede, and you will be left with your fond memories of him and some solace that you were a very big part of the joy he had during his time on earth, just as he was for you.
I wish there was a short cut to the grieving process, but so far I haven't heard on one yet. At its core, life is mostly about the welcoming of new people into our lives and saying good-bye to those who must separate from us. Being able to come to terms with this and be at peace with such a fundamental process is one of the keys to peace and wisdom in life.
Loss of a loved one is one of the hardest things to grieve through. The process is different for each person, but the important thing is to actually DO the grieving. Human beings must process loss, and significant emotional problems arise if this not done.
Take a look at yourself and try to get a sense of where you are in the grieving process. The generally accepted phases are: denial/disbelief, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Seems like you may actually still be primarily in the first stage, denial and/or disbelief of his passing. Or perhaps bargaining, since you say that you're looking for a way to communicate with him.
Death will come to everyone alive today, eventually. It is sad to lose people we love, and debate will rage on in perpetuity about questions of spirits, life after death, and the like. But what remains after all this is burned away is the loss. You need to accept the loss, cry with your family members or close friends over it, and let the pain and anguish of that loss roll through you like a big wave. Eventually, the pain will recede, and you will be left with your fond memories of him and some solace that you were a very big part of the joy he had during his time on earth, just as he was for you.
I wish there was a short cut to the grieving process, but so far I haven't heard on one yet. At its core, life is mostly about the welcoming of new people into our lives and saying good-bye to those who must separate from us. Being able to come to terms with this and be at peace with such a fundamental process is one of the keys to peace and wisdom in life.
Source(s):
Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross - Five Stages of Grief
No comments:
Post a Comment